Loving Daughters

Last month we talked about the importance of respecting our sons as we raise and train them up in the way that they should go, and today we are going to talk about the importance of making our daughters feel loved as they are growing up in our homes as well.

The Bible tells us this about daughters in Psalm 144:12-13, “That our daughters may be as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace: that our garners may be full.”

As corner-stones, polished after the similitude of palace, God desires that our daughters grow up to become strong and beautiful ~ and adorned with all the ornaments belonging to their sex. What are the “ornaments” that the Bible teaches belong to the female sex? Titus 2:4-5 describes them as: soberness, love for family, discretion, purity, excellent housekeeping, goodness, and submission to authority.

That’s a tall order, isn’t it? And the reason that it is so important that our daughters be taught and trained in these areas is because (as the Treasury of David so wisely puts it), “Daughters unite families as corner stones join walls together, and at the same time, they adorn them as polished stones garnishing the structure into which they are builded.”

Daughters are an important part of every family, and it is our duty to teach them how to be a blessing to our families now so that they will understand how to be a blessing to the family they will marry into later on.

Matthew Henry writes, “That our daughters may be as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace or temple. By daughters families are united and connected to their mutual strength, as the parts of a building are by the cornerstones; and when they are graceful and beautiful both in body and mind, they are then polished after the similitude of a nice and curious structure. When we see our daughters well established, and stayed with wisdom and discretion, as cornerstones are fastened in the building; when we see them by faith united to Christ, as the chief cornerstone, adorned with the graces of God's Spirit, which are the polishing of that which is naturally rough, and "become women professing godliness"; when we see them purified and consecrated to God as living temples, we think ourselves happy in them.”

So, how are we to go about accomplishing so great a task?

First of all, we must remember that daughters have a great need for love and security.

1. Daughters need to be treated with kindness.

2. Daughters feel loved when we are patient with them.

3. A critical spirit is a destructive thing to a daughter’s spirit ~ it causes her to feel insecure about who she is and what she is able to do.

4. Comparison also causes daughters to feel insecure about themselves. Daughters are in desperate need of acceptance in order to become the polished corner stone of the family that God desires them to be.

5. It’s a mothers job to identify the special needs that her daughter has and help her to overcome or practically accommodate them.

6. Mothers must be careful not attribute motives, nor take offense, lose patience, or take the ridiculous things that daughters do too personally.

7. Mothers must remember that daughters need to be raised in a happy, loving home in order to feel totally secure. No amount of love, compliments or kindness will make up for the fear that is brought into a daughter’s heart by marital strife or divorce.

Secondly, daughters need to be taught to control their emotions.

1. Whining, gossiping and complaining should not be tolerated. Make every effort to train your daughter to be sensible by teaching her how to be thankful, patient and kind as she deals with her every day issues of life.

2. Emotions must be taught to follow and not allowed to lead. The best teacher is example. Make it your goal to be a good example of this so that your daughter can “see” how this is done.

3. Daughters must be taught that they may not use their “hormones” as an excuse for sin!

4. Teach your daughter how to manage her tears. There is a time for tears ~ when they are hurt, when someone they know or see is seriously injured or dies. But crying is not something that should continue on and on ~ they should be short and brief. Even in the case of death of a loved one: there is a time to cry, and there is a time to cease from crying.

5. The same goes for silliness. Giggling and acting giddy is fine at times, but too much of it makes a girl ridiculous.

Thirdly, daughters must be raised to embrace their femininity.

1. Daughters should be taught to be home-centered. They should be encouraged to love working with their hands ~ both in housework and handiwork.

2. Daughters should be encouraged to wear dresses, fix their hair and want to look pretty.

a. However, we must be diligent to encourage them to be MODEST and pretty. The female body is a beautiful creation of God and modesty teaches them that it is a precious thing that must be saved for their future husband (and not the whole world) to enjoy.

b. We also must be careful not to raise our daughters to be too prissy or “primadonas” who only a mother and father is able to tolerate and love :).

3. Daughters must be encouraged to play with toys that will encourage her to home-centered and not bedroom-centered. (Baby dolls rather than Barbie dolls)

4. Daughters must be taught and trained how to respond to the men around them.

a. Daughters have a God given need for male attention. Teach them when they are little how to love and serve Dad, so that Dad will enjoy being around them.

b. Teach your daughter how to respect her Dad and brothers. This is will prepare her to enjoy good success when she is married to her own man later on.

Mothers are the role models for their daughters, and it is important that we realize that we are teaching our daughters every day by the way we live. As Christian mothers, it is vital that we commit ourselves to living as the godly women that we would want our daughters to grow up to become. This is a tall order, but one which is certainly possible as we grow in the grace and knowledge of our loving God.

Learning from Leah

Today I have a very special lesson for you from the life of Leah. I have to be honest with you, when God first put it in my heart to teach you from the life of Leah, I was hesitant. What could we learn from her from this tender-eyed woman that was a wallflower growing up and not loved very much by her husband that would be of encouragement or exhortation to anybody? And then I began to pray and study and pray and study . . . And before I knew it, God was showing me one of the most beautiful lessons that I have ever learned from Him and I am so excited to be teaching it to you today.

Please turn with me to Genesis 29 and let’s read from verse 16 through chapter 30 verse 21.

In these verses we learn the following facts about Leah’s life:

1. She was tender-eyed and not as attractive as her sister Rachel.

2. Her father deceived Jacob into taking her as a wife.

3. She was “hated” of her husband Jacob (this word “hated” here doesn’t mean to be hated in the way we think of it, it just means to be “loved less”).

4. She was given special pity and favor from the Lord.

5. She was the mother to six sons and one daughter.

Leah was one of those women whose heart felt very unloved. She grew up having her tender-eyed looks compared to her sister’s beauty and she felt unlovely. Her father obviously worried about how she was ever going to get married, and that made her feel unlovable. And once she was married, she found herself being treated as a second class wife and that must have made her feel very unloved.

Have you ever been there? Have you felt yourself to be the “tender-eyed” one of the family? The one everyone overlooks as they praise the more beautiful ones that are around? Have you ever struggled with low self-esteem because of the lack of confidence that others have in you? Have you ever been rejected as a wife? Have you ever longed for your heart to be filled with love?

Well, to all of you precious Leah’s out there, God has a beautiful message for YOU and it is this ~ “I LOVE YOU BEST! AND I WANT TO BLESS YOU IN SOME VERY, VERY SPECIAL WAYS!”

Isn’t that so encouraging? And how does He want to bless you? He wants to bless you by filling your heart and life with the very same special things that He blessed His sweet Leah with.

Each blessing that God gave Leah was in the gift of a son and the special blessings He wants to fill your heart and life with are revealed to us in the special names that she gave these sons.

The Reuben Blessing

The name Reuben means: the Lord hath looked upon mine affliction and sent me a son. The first blessing that God wants to fill the heart of an unloved woman with is the security of knowing that He SEES the loneliness that you feel and has SENT a special SOMEBODY. . . HIS SON to be your Savior and Friend. So, dear friend, from this day forward, embrace the fact that Jesus has come to be more than just your Savior, He has also come to be your FRIEND! (John 15:15-16)

The hymn writer Johnson Oatman Jr. Put it this way in one of my favorite hymns “No, Not One!”:

“There’s not a friend like the lowly Jesus,
No not one! No not one!
None else could heal all your soul’s diseases,
No, not one! No, not one!
Jesus knows all about our struggles;
He will guide till the day is done.
There’s not a friend like the lowly Jesus,
No, not one! No, not one!

The Simeon Blessing

The name Simeon means: God hath heard that I was hated. The second blessing that God wants to fill the heart of a woman who is feeling unloved is the confidence that He HEARS you when you pray. I believe that I Peter 5:7 is a special verse that God wants you highlight and frame and personalize as your very own ~ “Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.” Just like He wanted to hear the hurts of Leah and respond to them in a special way, He wants to listen to the hurts that you are having and respond to them too!

The Levi Blessing

The name Levi means: attached or joined. When Leah gave her son this name, she was hoping that the birth of this son would cause her husband to want to be joined to her. This third blessing that God wants to fill the life of an empty hearted woman with is the blessing of a beloved church family. I don’t know about you, but I am so thankful for my church family! They are a group of people that love and care for me and have become closer to me than even my own extended family. In every Bible believing church that I have ever been a member of, God has blessed me with a wonderful Pastor and his wife that were like parents to me, and fellow church members that became like my brothers and sisters. And it has been through the local church that I have been comforted and encouraged through the love and hugs of God’s people, the good news of the Bible, and the opportunity to live for others. Take advantage of the opportunity you have to be a member of a local, Bible believing church! Be there every time the doors are open. Get to know every body and get involved with every thing that you can.

The Judah Blessing

The name Judah means: one who acknowledges God. After Leah conceived again and gave birth to Judah, she said, “Now will I praise the Lord.” The third blessing that God wants to fill an empty heart with is the gift of PRAISE! We’ve been singing a little chorus in our Sunday School class about this lately and it goes like this: “It’s amazing what praising can do! Hallelujah, hallelujah! It’s amazing what praising can do, halleluuuujah!” What’s the amazing thing that praising can do? It keeps our minds freshly filled with good thoughts and our spirits consistently looking up. God wants each one of us to do more than just “hoard up” all these special blessings that He has been willing to fill us up with ~ He wants us to be a witness to others of them as well! Tell people about the friend you have found in Jesus! Tell them about how God listens to your prayers and blesses you with the things that you need! Brag about your church and the great preaching that you hear and the fun activities that you attend! God is being so good to you, now take what you have been blessed with and share the good news of it with others so that they can be blessed and encouraged with it too!

The Bible teaches us that after the birth of Judah, that Leah left off bearing and to be honest with you, I believe that God wanted her to have peace with it. He had blessed her with four sons, and at this point, she was feeling loved and cared for by God in a very special way.

But then she was provoked by the competitive spirit of her sister Rachel, who was still struggling with the reality of being barren. And rather than rest in the blessings that God had filled her heart with, she allowed her sister to stir up past feelings of inferiority and they got involved in competing with each other using their handmaidens as surrogate mothers. What a mess!

But shortly after this, Leah’s is blessed again with two more sons and each of them represent a blessing that God wants to fill our hearts with as well.

The Issachar Blessing

Issachar means: an hire; satisfied for work done. I believe the fifth blessing that God wants to fill the heart of the unloved woman with is satisfaction that is received through serving. You see, every woman that fills unloved needs to feel like she has a special purpose and is making a difference in this life. It’s not enough for any of us just to have our own needs met, we want to know that we are valuable enough to meet the needs of others as well.

A friend of mine once said, “Self-absorbed people self-destruct” to which I would like to add ~ “Servant-oriented people self-ignite”! You start living for others and you will be surprised at the beautiful flame that you will become that no amount of discouragement can put out!

The Zebulun Blessing

Zebulun means: dwelling or cohabitation. In this sixth and final blessing, I believe that God wants to fill the remaining space in the “heart that doesn’t feel so unloved anymore :)!” with the reminder that she has a home in His Heaven waiting for her when she dies. Isn’t that such a comforting thought? Isn’t it wonderful to know that no matter how difficult things seem while we live here on earth, that someday . . . Someday . . . We will be living with our wonderful God in the beauty of Heaven for ever and ever and ever? The Bible tells us in John 14:2-3, “In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.”

God has left us so many wonderful lives to learn from in His holy, wonderful Word. And today we learned something very special didn’t we? We learned that God cares for the one who feels unloved in some very, very special ways.

And because of this special love and attention that you have been given by God, your heart can find rest in the midst of being treated unkindly in this present world.

“Thus saith the LORD, The people which were left of the sword found grace in the wilderness; even Israel, when I went to cause him to rest. The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee. Again I will build thee, and thou shalt be built, O virgin of Israel: thou shalt again be adorned with thy tabrets, and shalt go forth in the dances of them that make merry.” Jeremiah 31:2-4

“There remaineth therefore a rest to the people of God. For he that is entered into his rest, he also hath ceased from his own works, as God did from his. Let us labour therefore to enter into that rest, lest any man fall after the same example of unbelief.” Hebrews 4:9-11

Learning from Rebekah

Today we are going to learn a very valuable lesson from the life of a woman named Rebekah.

Please turn with me to the book of Genesis as I show you four things from the life of Rebekah and then one very important lesson that we can learn from the things she did.

God’s Plan for Rebekah

In Genesis chapter 24 we learn that God chose Rebekah to be the wife of Abraham’s son Isaac. This wasn’t something that she had to pray for, worry about or even compete for. Abraham sent his servant to find a wife for his son Isaac among his kindred from his own country, and once he got there, Rebekah was the woman that God pointed out for him to bring back for Isaac. God had a specific plan for Rebekah to marry Abraham’s promised son. What a wonderful thing that was for her to be chosen to be the wife of such a special man!

God’s Prophecy Concerning Rebekah’s Children

In Genesis 25:20-23 the Bible tells us that God told Rebekah that “two nations are in thy womb, and two manner of people shall be separated from they bowels; and the one people shall be stronger than the other people; and the elder shall serve the younger.” Before she even gave birth to her twin children, God had revealed to her that the younger was going to be stronger and that the elder would serve the younger. I’m sure this was a quite an overwhelming revelation to receive!

Rebekah’s Panic Over the Elder Being Preferred By His Father

In Genesis 25:24-34 we read that as the boys grew, Isaac favored Esau because he was a hunter and brought back good meat for the family to eat. Esau had grown up to become a strong “manly man”~ a cunning hunter, and a man of the field. Esau was just the kind of son that any dad would be proud of. And his brother Jacob . . . well, he was just a plain fellow who dwelt around the tent ~ which seems like sissy behavior in the eyes of most strong dads. The Bible tells us that Rebekah loved Jacob, and even though the Bible doesn’t specifically say this ~ I’m thinking that Rebekah raised Jacob in an overprotective way on purpose, always reminding him
that he needed to be protected and kept safe because God told her that he was going to lead his older brother someday. I mean, think about it . . . Why else would Jacob have been concerned about his brother’s birthright?

The Problems that Rebekah Brought In Her Home

1. She caused strife between her two children. Esau grew up to hate his brother and Jacob’s only desire was to take the birthright that was rightfully his. (Genesis 25:29-34; Genesis 27:41)

2. She encouraged rebellion in the heart of Esau. Genesis 26:34-35 tells us that he ran off and married women that his parents did approve us, and I believe that he did it to spite his mother who favored his younger brother and caused him to be robbed of the respect that he was due as the eldest son in the family.

3. She encouraged Jacob to be deceitful. In Genesis 27:6-12 we find the story of Isaac in his old age wanting to give a blessing to his son Esau and being tricked by Rebekah and Jacob into giving that blessing to Jacob.

4. She caused contention between her husband and his sons. After Isaac was deceived into bestowing his blessing upon Jacob, Esau comes in and they are both made aware of the subtility of Jacob and confusion and contention was the result of it. And then later on in Genesis 28:6-9 we find Esau marrying another heathen women just to spite his father.

5. She caused her own self heartache and grief. Genesis 27: 46 tell us how weary her life became when Esau married the daughters of the strange land that they were living in.

6. She dishonored her husband by taking on the responsibilities of making the big decisions in their home. Genesis 27:6-13; 42-45.

7. She caused her son Jacob to be sent away from home unexpectedly and suffer unnecessarily for many years after he left home. In Genesis 29 we find Jacob arriving at the home of Laban and being promised the hand of his beautiful daughter Rachel in marriage in return for seven years of marriage only to be deceived himself and given her sister on his wedding night! What a mess! Of course we learn that later he marries Rachel as well and then a whole new saga of strife begins between them!

What can we learn from Rebekah in all of this? We can learn that she could have saved herself and her family a whole heap of stress and trouble if she had only PRAYED about things that she was worried about, rather than panic and take matters into her own hands!

Pray Changes Things

The Bible teaches us in Proverbs 3:5-7, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the Lord, and depart from evil.”

1. Prayer begins with a trust in God.

2. Prayer is an acknowledgement that God knows how to handle things best.

3. Prayer is the safety measure to keep us from thinking that we know what is best.

4. Prayer protects us from doing the wrong thing to make sure things work out the right way.

Rebekah was a good woman that allowed the fear of the future to overwhelm her. She was told by God that something unusual in the lives of her sons was going to someday take place, and rather than waiting on Him to bring it to pass in His own way, she panicked and brought unnecessary stress and trouble into her own life and the lives of others as well. If she had only decided to PRAY, rather than PANIC, she and her family would have experienced the peace that surpasses all understanding, rather than all the problems that brought so much hatred and misunderstanding.

Learning from Sara

Today we are going to learn from the life of the woman that God chose to be our example of a great Christian wife. Please turn with me to I Peter 3:1-6 and let’s discover who she is.

Who is this woman that God says that we should pattern ourselves after if we would desire to be a godly sort of wife? It is Sara, the wife of the patriarch Abraham.

In I Peter 3:5-6 the Bible teaches us that Sara was a wife that was known for her trust in the Lord and her obedience to her husband Abraham. Let’s take a few minutes and read what the book of Genesis has to say about Sara’s life.

In Genesis 11:29 ~ 12:17 we find the first description of Sara’s life:

*She was the wife of Abram (later renamed Abraham)
*She was barren
*She lived in many different places
*She was asked to lie about her identity (we also see this again in Genesis 20:1-5)
*She was protected by God

In Genesis 16:1-2 we read about how she “helped” Abraham conceive the child that God has promised him, and in Genesis 17:15 we find God blessing Sara and making it clear to her that it is through HER that Abraham chosen descendants will come.

Then in Genesis 21:1-8 we find her rejoicing after giving birth to baby Isaac at the ripe old age of 90! And then finally, in Genesis 23:1-2 the Bible records the death of Sara at the age of 127.

Sara was an amazing woman, that is for sure, but to be honest with you, the Bible is FILLED with the testimonies of amazing women, isn’t it? What made Sara’s testimony as a wife so special?

I believe it was her great Faith and Flexibility.

Evidences of Sara’s Faith

1. Sara’s faith in her husband. The Bible teaches us in I Peter 3:6 that Sara referred to her husband Abraham by the term “lord”. When she called him this she was acknowledging the he was her superior, and that as her superior, he had the right to rule over her in that office. As her ruler, she believed that he was responsible to direct the affairs of her life and that it was her duty to be subject to him.

2. Sara’s faith in her God. When Sara was asked to say that she was Abraham’s sister (rather than his wife) did it with no recorded fear. The Bible tells in Genesis 20:5, that she told King Abimelech herself that she was Abraham’s sister, it wasn’t just something that he said and made her agree with. And how could she do this crazy thing (twice for that matter)? Because she had faith that God would protect her as she did.

3. Sara’s faith in the plans of God for her life. The Bible told us in Genesis 17 that God wanted Sara to be the mother of Abraham’s promised son and that He was going to bring it to pass when she was 90 years old! And Genesis 21 tells us that she rejoiced about it when it happened!

Sara was an amazing woman of faith! And her faith was PROVEN by her flexibility to her husband’s and God’s commands.

Evidence of Sara’s flexibility

1. Sara was willing to follow her husband wherever he felt that he was supposed to go. Wherever God seemed to send Abraham, Sara was willing to follow him and go.

2. Sara was willing to be whatever her husband needed her to be in any given situation. If he needed her to be his sister, she was his sister. If he needed her to be the mother of his promised child, she was willing to be that too.

3. Sara was willing to “work outside of the box” in order to help Abraham conceive the son that God promised that he would receive. Many people chastise Sara for offering Abraham the opportunity to bear a child with her servant girl Hagar, but what they fail to recognize is that God had not made it clear at this time that Sara was supposed to be the mother. Of course, after the big fiasco with Hagar and Ishmael, God makes this clear to her, but before this, she was just working within accepted tradition to help her husband fulfil the promise that he had been given by God.

4. Sara was willing to be used by God to bring forth the promised baby, even though she was very old and way past the child bearing years!

If you and I want to be remembered well, like Sara was, by God and the men around us, we are going to have to do like she did: trust in the decisions made by our leaders and be flexible enough to do whatever it takes to obey what they say.

Learning from Eve

Today we are going to begin a series entitled, “Women We Can Learn From.” Over the next thirteen weeks, we will be learning from the lives of a variety of women in the Bible. The Bible teaches us in I Corinthians 10:11 and Romans 15:4 that those that have gone before us are our “ensamples” and that the story of their lives has been left for our “learning” to bring us hope.

We are going to begin our series by studying the life of Eve ~very first woman that was ever created. Turn with me to Genesis 2:7-3:8.

How was Eve created? She was created from the body of the man.

For what purpose was she created? She was created to be help meet to the very first man.

What was the man doing at this time that she was supposed to be helping him with? In what ways do you think she was able to be a help meet to him at this time.

The very first woman was created from the rib of the man, in the midst of the beautiful Garden of Eden for the purpose of being a help meet to the very first man.

Life was going along pretty perfectly for this first woman wasn’t it? She had everything that she could want and everything that she would need. And then along came that subtil serpent, the devil himself, to do what he could to steal, kill and destroy the opportunity for her to enjoy the great life that God had desired for her. (John 10:10)

The main lesson that I want us to learn from the life of Eve is that each one of us has an ENEMY who has come to steal, kill and destroy the good life that God desires for us to live as well!

How does he do it?

1. He speaks to us through words of doubt. Genesis 3:1-4. “Hath God said?” “Ye shall not surely die.” He comes whispering in our ears words of doubt about the good things that God has called us to do and enjoy in our lives. What are some of the ways that the devil has whispered words of doubt in your ears? What have you done with them when he does? Do you respond by telling him the truth? John 8:44 reminds us that the devil is a liar and the father of all lies! Be careful who and what you are listening to! Make sure that you are listening to people and things
that are encouraging you to obey the Lord and live the abundant life that He has laid out for you!

2. He tempts us by showing us things we don’t need to see. It is so important for us to be careful with our eyes! The Bible tells us that Eve was fine until she SAW that the tree was good and pleasant and to be desired. So many times we allow the devil to get the best of us because we allow our eyes to roam where they don’t need to be looking. Where am I talking about? I am talking about looking at your friend’s good marriage, your neighbors beautiful house, the model in the magazine’s gorgeous body, your best friends perfectly behaved kids, someone else’s new car, gorgeous wardrobe, attractive furniture, etc., etc., etc.. You know what I’m talking about ~ all those things that you look at that cause you to doubt the goodness of God in your own every day life.

3. He encourages you to be brave and reach out and taste of the forbidden fruits in life. “You won’t surely die” the devil said in Genesis 3:4 encouraging Eve to be brave and taste that forbidden fruit, “for God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil. And sure enough, after spending so much time listening to his words of doubt and focusing her attention on that which was forbidden . . . This first woman gave in to the temptation as “she took the fruit thereof, and did eat, and
gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.”

Eve allowed the devil to tempt her to disobey the commands of her loving Creator and now she found herself being separated from the abundant life that God had planned for her to enjoy.

And you know what? Her eyes did become open to the negative side of life. And ever since then, when women follow in her footsteps and allow the devil to whisper words of doubt into their ears, parade things that they shouldn’t see before their eyes, and talk them into doing that which is forbidden by God ~ their eyes are opened to following negative aspects of life as well:

1. Discontentment ~ they lose the opportunity to be happy with what they have

2. Discouragement ~ they lose the peace of being happy with who they are

3. Disappointment ~ they lose the opportunity of being happy with what they do

How can we avoid falling into the same trap of temptation that Eve fell into?

1. Keep your ears listening to the words of God! Read the Bible daily. Listen to good Christian music throughout the day. Attend church so that you can hear the preaching and teaching of God’s Word. Make godly friends.

2. Keep your eyes focused on God’s blessings in YOUR life. Spend time looking after your own husband, your own children, your own home, your own things, your own self, and the other beautiful things that surround your own life.

3. Keep your hands and feet doing what God has called you to do. What are the things that God has called us as Christian women to do? Titus 2:4-5 gives us this list, “to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands.”

So, what did we learn today from the life of Eve? We learned that we have an enemy that has come to steal, kill and destroy the abundant life that God has given to us to enjoy.

Respecting Sons

As we begin this lesson we are reminded that the whole goal of child training is to bring up our children to maturity. It should be our desire to see them reach their full potential physically, spiritually and socially. The only way we will be able to achieve this is to depend upon God to strengthen us and enable us with the wisdom, endurance and love that we will need for this whole children rearing process.

Psalm 144:12, “That our sons may be as plants grown up in their youth.”

Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

Sons are different than daughters. God has created our sons to grow up and become leaders and providers. Because of this, it is very important that we treat them in a way that is respectful so that he will have the confidence that he needs to do the many courageous things that God will call him to do.

Respecting Sons
1. Make it a priority to show respect to your husband first.
A. Understand that your son will respect you in direct proportion to your respect for his dad.
B. Mothers must teach their daughters to respect their brothers.

2. Verbalize your respect through praise of his achievements.
A. Admire him for his accomplishments.
B. Respect is connected to real achievements.

3. Give him responsibilities and expect him to fulfill his obligations.
A. Mothers should have high standards for their sons.

4. Common courtesy is a central aspect of respect.
A. Resist the temptation to make fun of your son in public.
B. Don’t share his weaknesses or failures with others.
C. Embarrassing your son in public is always disrespectful.
D. Make every effort to correct your son in private.

Remember this: boys who are braggarts or spend a lot of time showing off in front of others are usually lacking in respect. A boy who is respected will usually have more confidence and be more prone to good behavior.

Responsible Sons
1. We must prepare our sons to go out into the world, face obstacles, work hard, and provide for a household with integrity.
A. Mothers can unwittingly undermine this preparation by mollycoddling, pampering or overprotecting) their sons.
B. Mothers should avoid fighting their son’s battles and sheltering them from the consequences of their actions.
C. Mother should not rush to her son’s defense ~ sons who grow up looking to Mom to fix everything will look for the same thing in a wife :).

2. Sons must learn to take responsibility.
A. Sons must not be allowed to make excuses for their mistakes.
B. Mothers must resist the temptation to “feel sorry” for their sons when they fail.

3. Mothers should avoid being drawn into an adversarial relationship with her son.
A. Mothers must remember that they are in authority over the son until he is grown and should not argue with him as if he were an adult.
B. Mothers should strive to be good listeners and allow Dad to handle the big problems.
C. Mothers must give commands and then expect those commands to be followed without back talk.

4. Sons must not be trained to be home-centered.
A. Mothers must make it their goal to teach their sons that the pattern of homemaking is not the pattern of their future life.
B. Sons are to be raised and trained to leave the home and go out into the world and conquer it!
C. Mothers must remember that they are not the role model for their sons ~ he must be taught to love, admire and appreciate his mother, and learn very early on to follow in the footsteps of his father.

5. Sons must be taught to be self-controlled.
A. Indulging a son will lead him to live an undisciplined life.
B. You want your son to be self-governed, so that when he is older, he will not have to be governed by someone else.
C. Training your son to be self-controlled must begin when he is just a wee little boy (under the age of two years old).
D. Schedule and routine is your best tool of teaching self-control to a young child (this little bit of advice came from me, not the book).

Religious Sons
1. Sons demonstrate their faith differently than daughters do.
2. Look for ways that he is demonstrating his faith in his every day life and activities.
3. Don’t discourage your son for being vocal about his beliefs.

If God has given you the opportunity to mother a son, consider yourself blessed. The little boy in your home now will soon grow up to be a grown man in our society later. Ask God to help you to respect him and raise him in a way that he will grow up to be a responsible man who is able to work hard and lead well. May God bless you and encourage you as you do.

Praise Her In The Gates

During this school year, the home school moms (and any one else who wants to come) are enjoying studying through Nancy Wilson's book on motherhood entitled, "Praise Her In the Gates". We meet once a month while the children are in chapel and the studies so far have been incredible. Here is an outline of our first study. I will share the outline of the second with you in a few days. Enjoy!

The Big Picture

It is essential that Christian mothers understand their calling so that they can wholeheartedly embrace it. In the next nine months, we will be working our way through the book Praise Her in the Gates by Mrs. Nancy Wilson. In this book Mrs. Wilson reminds us of the high calling of Christian Motherhood.

Any time we take on an important job, it is very helpful if we have a vision for the end result. The purpose of today’s lesson is to encourage you to see your daily tasks in light of the whole design. I want you to understand that each day of your mothering work is significant, and everything that you are working hard to do will contribute towards the long term product.

What is this long term product that you should be working towards as you work hard to mother the children that are living in your home?

1. Godly, Productive Adult Children
2. Honor for your Husband
3. Praise for Yourself
4. Blessing to Society and the Local Church

A mother who works hard to fulfil her fruitful calling is a means God uses to bring blessing for her entire family, her husband, the church and the community.

Mothers who understand that God desires “godly offspring” (Malachi 2:15) realize what an important part they play in fulfilling God’s desire. It takes diligence, hard work, and faith to raise godly children for God, but it is a soul satisfying work.

Mothers must consistently keep their eye on the day when all her children will be grown and make sure that they do all they can to prepare them to bring honor and glory to God and their family on that day.

A Mother’s Duties (as she imitates the church’s duties)
1. She must look to her husband for leadership as the church looks to Christ.
2. She is responsible to teach and build up.
3. She is appointed to feed and nourish the flock.
4. She is supposed to discipline and correct her own.
5. She is to be fruitful in her labors.

Children are not to be viewed as a hindrance, an intrusion, an interruption, or a burden. Of course mothering will be hard work, but it is a good work and a limited work at that. You only have so many years to prepare your children to become the godly adults that they need to become. Work hard with the end in view . . . It will be here sooner than you realize.